If you have never been bullied or know someone who has, it may not be feel like an important topic, but to those who have been affected...it is. People who bully feel that they have some kind of power over others. It's necessary for us to let them know they do not!
I found this graph showing the cycle of bullying and found it very interesting.
It is clear to see from this chart that society chooses to either be a bully, be a part of the bullying, like it and not take part, just be an onlooker, dislike it and do nothing, or be a defender and try to help the victim.
I don't know about you, but I choose to be a defender. But here's where it can get tricky as well. It's hard sometimes to differentiate between who is really getting bullied and the poser....the one who is pretending to be bullied. The poser in many cases is the worst of all because they not only pretend to be a victim, but they themselves are sometimes involved in the bullying process.
To me, it doesn't matter what part you play, if you're not defending you are not helping the cure. That is how bullies gain their power....the fear people have of standing up to them and calling them out. Many simply refuse to "get involved". For some reason, some feel if you mention this topic you are being negative. I, on the other hand, feel it is a positive message to send out to others.
Everyone likes sunshine and roses, and at the very thought of mentioning anything otherwise sends some into a frenzy. I have mentioned some of these topics on my YouTube channel and got some comments suggesting that I not worry about it because it's a beauty channel and we are not trying to solve world peace - just learn about makeup. I agree, it is for fun and enjoyment...that is the general idea. But what happens when some choose not to "keep it fun" and openly or secretly attack others?
Since being on YouTube, I have had my account hacked, my FB hacked, and Twitter hacked. I have been lied on, had people walk away from me for taking a stand, been labeled negative, and many other hurts and offenses. I have, and will continue to stand out against bullying, but and the same time I will do everything in my power to keep the peace with people and go the extra mile to show a good example...even when it means swallowing my pride. I made some videos concerning matters that I really wished I had not. I should have kept my focus and direction simply on issue of bullying and harassment... not on areas that are not important - regardless if I agree with others videos or not. Nonetheless, for the stand I took, I was bullying and got some pretty unfair treatment that was very hurtful.
Those not involved may not feel the sting because it's not them that is getting attacked. However, the victims do feel the sting and it hurts. It hurts feelings, it hurts character, it hurts credibility, and it hurts self-esteem. Some may say, so what can I do? I'm not causing it or supporting it! Well, in my opinion, here are some things that can help to bring down bullies.
- If you know someone who is bullying or promoting it - DON'T SUPPORT THEM...NO MATTER HOW POPULAR OR WELL LIKED THEY MAY BE....YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!
- Don't support sites that promote bullying. I've done some experimental research about GG, and they are not interested in anything other than bashing people for stupid stuff. If you get anywhere close to the truth, they want no part of it. Sadly enough, some gurus (in disguise) post on this site to create drama for more views. There is nothing good or honest about it, so stay away from it!!!
- If you hear something bad about someone...don't spread it. Stop the gossip!!
- Basically, just respect others!! Treat others as you would like to be treated. Don't bad-mouth, ridicule, make jokes, judge, or back-stab other people. All these things only gives fuel to the bullies and it adds to the drama. Chances are what you have been told or heard isn't even true...this I have learned the hard way!
- Don't respond to negative comments that stir up drama...that is what they want - the ATTENTION. Another thing I have had to learn the hard way.
BTW, visiting people's channel and reporting back things to others is called a trouble-maker! Also, carrying out acts of harassment for others who want to keep a low profile so their name will not get tarnished is called being a henchman. A henchman is a person who is a supporter of someone dubious (suspicious...questionable). Having someone else do the dirty work, in my opinion, is even worse. Not only does it label them a bully - it also brands them as a coward.
I'm aware these are not areas that people care to talk about. I've listened to many of the videos with people expressing a desire to stamp out bullying, but people need to realize in order to stamp it out, it must be cut off at the root. It's one thing to say you want to end bullying - it's quite another to actually DO something about it. The doing part is where you will meet the opposition. That is where you will see people begin to back down and the enthusiasm begins to die out. That is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. That is where you may take a chance on losing friends, subscribers, popularity, and so on. Sadly enough, many are not willing to make that kind of sacrifice to help in the fight against bullying. They do not want to be in the line of fire...especially after seeing the impact it has had on others.
Taking a stand is never easy. It has to be a personal choice, you must be thick-skinned and ready to stand your ground. Many don't see the need until they have come face to face with it. When faced with it the choices become one of two...run away or stand up and fight. I would urge everyone who reads this to not wait until you are faced with it, but take a stand for those who are at the present time being faced with it. We all will benefit in the end :)
Thanks so much for your time!
xoxo
~twyla
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